(Lost on a raft out to sea)
Ralph: Ok, we need to think about food, say for instance constructing a line to fish…
Skipper: As the captain, sworn protector of this crew, I vote we eat Ralph
Cooky: Same, Ralph
Cabin Boy: I say, hey, why can’t we have fish AND ralph. Let’s not argue
Ralph: No, let’s argue. I don’t want to get eaten
Ralph: What, what?
Jed: Typical Ralph
Ralph: I think that’s consistent with my character, yes
Cooky: And you wonder why we want to eat you
Ralph: Well, when we haven’t tried fishing yet…
Skipper: Look look, ok, nobody wants to eat anyone. It’s gross
Cabin Boy: Particularly ralph. He’s probably slimy
Skipper: But we have to eat someone, ok.
Ralph: Why do we?
Jed: Ralph, take one for the team
Ralph: Doesn’t feel like a team, to be honest.
Skipper: Ralph, Christ, I’m not being rude
Ralph: So far you have
Cooky: Man, you are cranky when you’re hungry
Skipper: We’ve been very polite, besides trying to eat you
Ralph: Not just today
Skipper: The whole trip, fine, apart from that we’ve bit our tongues AND your tongue, we get it, don’t even say it. The fact is, you were really only invited in case the…you know, eating someone thing came up
Ralph: Not Pastry Jack?
(A man made out of bread is sitting on the raft)
Jack: Hey, don’t bring me into this
Ralph: Why are you here, you can’t even paddle!
Jack: OH, I’M SORRY IF I MY HANDS GETTING SOGGY AND FALLING OFF DOESN’T WORRY YOU!
Skipper: That’s what I mean Ralph, you’re very judgmental. And ugly.
Ralph: Look, there, a case of food!
Skipper: Don’t change the subject
(It floats by)
Ralph: Well, it’s gone
Cabin Boy: It was probably for the best, I’ve got to be careful with my semi gluten intolerance
Jack: Ralph knows about gluten intolerance.
Ralph: I should have let that seagull eat you
(Begin zooming out, showing the expanse of ocean around them)
Skipper: Instead of trying to get us to eat it. So gross
Jed: So gross. It could have had cold, anything
(Cooky opens a packet)
Cooky: Anyone want a Jelly Baby?