The Tarot Reader

17 Oct


(A tarot reading in a tacky gypsy room. Tara the psychic looks cosmic, but has a midlands accent maybe. She is with a business suited client, Hank)

Tara:              Welcome to the gateway to the future, a mystical axis of the cosmos. Mind if I smoke? It’ll mix with the incense, don’t worry

Hank:            Sure. I’ll be honest, I’ve always been a little…wary of fortune telling and the like. I like to keep an open mind, but…I don’t want to look like an idiot.

Tara:              Well, I’ll skip the chanting then, get right to the cards

(She turns over the first card)

Tara:              You got…the fool

Hank:            Ouch

Tara:              No no, it might just refer to…say, a foolish decision. We all make them; no one has all the awnsers

Hank:            OK…

Tara:              Except me of course. Psychic. Ok, this card is…the king of staffs

Hank:             A king, alright!

Tara:              Well, a king of staffs, someone who rules over nothing, a mistaken blowhard, a…what’s the word…

Hank:            A fool?

Tara:              Yeah yeah, that would be fair. Ok, this is… ok, that’s the fool card again. Huh, the pack said it was just one per deck. Ok, the next card is…death

Hank:            …not sure if that’s better

Tara:              No no, it probably indicates brain death, stupidity….ok, new card…another fool, weird.

Hank:            Is this a prank ?

Tara:             No no, hang on, last card…the…the man who can’t do maths as well as a horse

Hank:            …Why does he look like me?

Tara:            I don’t think…

Hank:           It’s…photo realistic. I’m wearing the same clothes

Tara:             I don’t know

Hank:           You don’t know? You don’t…right, I’m leaving

Tara:             Yeah, I figured. Err, because I’m psychic!

(he’s already gone)

Tara:              …yeah.

(she counts the money)

Tara:              Cash for nothing. What a fool.


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