Shock Hollywood Sex Scandal Headline!

18 Apr

An escort has alleged several Hollywood stars paid top dollar to sleep with him, and then hang out and play x-box afterwards, because they are all also his good friends and stuff. Gerald Sheck, 17, claims stars like Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Acker and a young Julia Roberts all wanted his body after they saw his profile on several fan sites, and liked him so much they often flew here to be with him, in case you were wondering why he didn’t miss any school that’s cleared that up then.

“It’s funny; just think of all those times boys at school called me a loser or Milhouse from The Simpsons, and in reality I was a super stud … I only hope this article makes them see the error in their ways, and maybe stop embarrassing themselves several times a day”.

Image

A personal photo Gerald took of an unknown girlfriend. It was taken in Paris, which he owns. 

Mr Sheck says that he always protected the privacy of his clients by never been seen with them and only telling his friends and the guys from his Scout troup, but since he is making so much money as a secret skateboarding secret agent in secret he is going to quit the escort business, and release the many typed letters he got from them describing his love making in a medically accurate manner.

“It’s a shame, because once you go Sheck You Never Go Beck, but their hearts and lady bits (like the uterus and fallopian tubes and stuff I know about) will heal in time”

Representatives of any of these dozens of girls have failed to comment.

“Probably…

says Sheck

…tired from all the loving I deliver”.

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