Mistress: This restaurant…sorry, truck stop, seems…several state lines out the way. You haven’t told your wife, have you?
Bastard: Oh, no need to act silly….put this beard on
Mistress: You HAVEN’T !
Bastard: You gotta fit in with the lumberjacks
Waitress: Whatya guys ordering?
Mistress (still snarky): Yeah, umm, I’ll have…the crab sticks I suppose…
Bastard: WITH APRICOTS thanks
Bastard:…and a rare steak. For one, because we’re not together.
(Waitress walks away)
Mistress: I’m really getting sick of…
Bastard: Look, YOU would order straight crab sticks, your character…T-Bone; he would order it with apricots
Mistress: I’m allergic to cyanogenic fruits
Bastard: I know, you could die if you ate them. Perfect right? Anyway, you better go, your taxi will be here.
Mistress: I drove
Bastard: And I towed, in case you were followed. Go on, I will be right behind you by 2 hours to avoid suspicion. Don’t bother getting naked, I’m driving passed. Go!
Mistress: (put out): One of these days, I’m telling your wife
Bastard: Good luck, I’ve murdered her so she’ll never find out about us.