Its like a party in my mouth, and everyone’s drinking this product

16 Nov

(infomercial)

Salesperson: Has this ever happened to you?

(black and white idiot footage)

Salesperson: You’ve got so much money, but just don’t know what to do with it. Your wallet is overflowing; your safe is unkempt and beginning to attract flies. And also, you like to get drunk? Perfect: we have the answer. An answer. Anyway.

(Show invention)

Salesman: It’s the WineMaka FakaShaka. (price $99.99, in 99 easy instalments) It’s not just a series of buzzwords, but an advanced system of squeezes and blades that can turn your left over items into sweet, delicious wine.

(show all sorts: banana’s, fruits, books being fed into the machine with wine coming out the nozzle)

(black and white idiot view again)

Salesman: It’s perfect if you’re strapped for cash, feeling the pinch, and would just like your food bills to stretch that little further. And also, you like to get drunk.

(footage of actual close up pinch. Twice, on ‘stretch’ as well)

Salesman: And white wine is just a switch away

(same ingredients, but now white)

Salesman: And the public can’t stop, or start, sampling the results

(footage, normal folks)

Lady: Its wine, right?

Woman: How…is that even possible?

Man: well…it’s certainly red and watery.

Woman: if it’s the devils work, you can tell me

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