Who’s She Going to Believe: Me, or my Obvious Lover?

16 Jan

(a cheating couple dine)

Mistress: This restaurant…sorry, truck stop, seems…several state lines out the way. You haven’t told your wife, have you?

Bastard: Oh, no need to act silly….put this beard on

Mistress: You HAVEN’T !

Bastard: You gotta fit in with the lumberjacks

Waitress: Whatya guys ordering?

Mistress (still snarky): Yeah, umm, I’ll have…the crab sticks I suppose…

Bastard: WITH APRICOTS thanks

Mistress:: What?

Bastard:…and a rare steak. For one, because we’re not together.

(Waitress walks away)

Mistress: I’m really getting sick of…

Bastard: Look, YOU would order straight crab sticks, your character…T-Bone; he would order it with apricots

Mistress: I’m allergic to cyanogenic fruits

Bastard: I know, you could die if you ate them. Perfect right? Anyway, you better go, your taxi will be here.

Mistress: I drove

Bastard: And I towed, in case you were followed. Go on, I will be right behind you by 2 hours to avoid suspicion. Don’t bother getting naked, I’m driving passed. Go!

Mistress: (put out): One of these days, I’m telling your wife

Bastard: Good luck, I’ve murdered her so she’ll never find out about us.




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