He Looked Alright – Hans Teeuwen

16 Jan

(in a flash of smoke, a bearded robed prophet addresses smoking teens)

Nostradamus: Behold, I am the soothsayer of the ancients, and I come with predictions of the misty future yore.

Boff: Did you predict a shave, Sparticus.

(everyone guffaws)

Nostradamus: Never heard that one before! No, really

Thud: What’s up Joaquin Phoenix?

Nostradamus: I’ll assume that’s funny

Thud: You’re cutting into our recess.

Nostradamus: Ok…I see a future, where men will ride in electric buggies

Boff: You mean cars?

Nostradamus: C-ar, right. In the future, the skin will be cleansed with the suds form the ground

Thud: Soap? They had soap in your day

Nostradamus: And the ground will 18th day of the new million in the lands of Marco Polo

(People look at Indian kid)

Kid: He’s talking about china. I’m Indian, guys. Ok, yes it happened, but O only know because my parents are also Indian and therefore knowledge taskmasters

Nostradamus: Ok, do you have flying platforms?

Boff: Yes

Nostradamus: Minstrel boxes? Light emitters? Snack cakes?

Thud: Yes

Nostradamus: Ok, smarty pants, a time travelling device. Got that? No! So shut up!

Kid: Wait; are you predications because you’ve travelled through time? That’s cheating!

Nostradamus: I’ve said too much. To the Nostramobile!

Boff: Car

Nostradamus: Look, whatever man. I’ll predict you’ll be hated by your peers.




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