little gingerbread patridge Christmas tree

9 Nov

Just in time for New Year’s Eve, its this traditional Christmas scene….

(at family Christmas, mother is unwrapping Christmas earings)

Mother: Awwwww, look, the’re little gingerbread patridge Christmas tree, with a little non-denominal Jesus on the side, thankyou dad! I’ll wear these on my nipples. Brian, do you want to give your present to the Little Donald?

Brian: Oh sure, sure

Mother: Great Uncle Brian brought these all the way back from his trip to lovely Persia!

Brian: Iran

Mother:….Persia.

Brian: Here you go, ya little ripper, be careful now, its last owner was cursed

(they unwrap it, its a necklace glowing with power)

Mother: Oh, isn’t that…nice

Brian: Its the Opal Chin of Wiiliai-Iaaiaia, it brings fortune tidings and laser breath

Donald: It’s for girls

Mother: Well, now, no no, you see, Donald, back then everyone was a little gay.

Brian: For 1000 years, Sultans and Slaves have fought for that necklace, its great magic able to grant your any desire

(Donald taps it on the ground)

Donald: Suzie, swap for your chocolate frankencynse?

Mother: So, Brian, where did you say you got this lovely …umm…..yeah

Brian: I saved the life of a socereress, then killed her for it

Mother:…so no receipt? Not that we would return it! We jsut…want …to see how much you paid. Not judgementally.

Donald: I wanted a bouncy ball

Brian: Well, this can transform into a bouncy ball, or indeed anything

Donald: Its not the same

End

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