The Immortal Bard’s Cast-Offs

13 Jul

An unexpected influx of government grants has forced arts scholars to desperately embark on new and hasty projects. Leaving the disastrous Sea Voyage of Fruit-Shaped Island Discovery aside for a moment (aside in a skip), we’ll take a look at the Willaim P Shakspare’s drafts, recently retranslated from the original Italian by Mastodon Official University of the Band in Lonely, Ontario. The more eagle-eyed of you are freaks and probably can’t read. The rest may notice certain differences between these quotes and the final copy you know today, murdered by Year Nine house group teachers in a fit of apathy.

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Alas, poor Yorrik, he has no body. To go with. Hamlet: The Play

Is this a dagger which I see before me, or are you just happy to see me Yee’s No Angel

Shall I compare thee to topographical erosion? Your right that would be a false analogy unsuitable for comparison. Northanger Abbey 3: Were Baaaaaaaaaack

Neither a borrower nor a lender be; steal and deny. Babes Let Loose

Richard II. Richard II

Hey mate! Oh, sorry, thought you were someone else. Richard III

Game over man, fooken game over. The Tempest, or As You Like It That’s It Right There

Bubble bubble, toil and trouble, never mess with Barney Rubble, he’ll put you in a pumpkin shell, and there you’ll rot straight to hell. The Merry Wives of Windsor: Car-crash, Broken Leg before Kentucky

The end. Of humanity! Titanious Androidicous

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